Bella is Sick
by elle.stone
Summary: Bella is diagnosed with alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma while in Phoenix with her Mum. She has gone through 47 weeks of chemotherapy and 12 rounds of radiation when a new trial has been started at a hospital in Seattle. Bella moves back to Forks where she meets the Cullen's who act very strange around her.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys, thank you all for the follows and favourites to my story. I know that it has been a while since I updated but thought i'd update all the chapters with some more words and context. Hope you all like and more chapters will be upon soon. I've updated the first three chapters. Once up, can you let me know more feedback, I really appreciate it. Thanks :)**

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When life gives you cancer, you do all you can to fight it, even when you just want to give up.

Isabella Swan was currently on a plane to go live with her father, Charlie Swan in Forks, Washington. She would have stayed with her mum, Renee Dwyer in Phoenix, Arizona however there was a new trial starting at a hospital in Seattle. Bella, as she liked to be called, was a typical 17 year old if a typical 17 year old had cancer. She liked to read but kept to her self a lot, though when you have cancer everyone wanted to feel sorry for the sick girl and gave her too much attention and she didn't like all the attention on her. Her parents had divorced when she was little and she went to live with her mum. They were a happy family even if she was the one that had to act like an adult most of the times. Renee met Phil and they married shortly after. Phil is a great guy, he puts up with mum and all her crazy ideas and even eats the recipes that she invents even though they taste horrible. He is always supporting her in everything she does as well such as all the hobbies she tries to take on but gets bored of after 2 days. Charlie is great, even though I don't see him often, we talk on the phone every week. I used to go and visit him every summer and some Christmases up until the point where I put my foot down and made him to Arizona to visit.

You could say that everything was perfect, life was good. I had lots of friends that we used to go to parties and hang out every weekend and even the friends that invited me over when I told them that Renee was going to be cooking that night. They knew that as soon as I said that Renee was cooking, that I would most likely be eating very little of it and then pretending that I had a lot of homework and going upstairs to 'study,' but most likely waiting until Mum and Phil had gone to bed so that I can sneak into the kitchen and eat some proper food. Then at the end of March and the start of April everything changed. I was diagnosed with alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma.


	2. Chapter 2

I guess I should start at the beginning. It was towards the end of March when I was getting out of the shower when I noticed a painful lump on my foot, this was about the 23rd of March. I didn't think much of it until it was affecting me in gym class so I went to see Dr. Green on the 28th who informed me that it was just a ganglion cyst and that it was a simply surgery to remove it. I was scared of what this surgery would entail however once he explained what he was going to do, it settled my nerves a little bit. So on the 3rd of April everything was booked in, I don't think anyone would be calm about surgery no matter how simple it is, I kept thinking about it and the night before I couldn't sleep. I'd never had surgery before, I've broken plenty of bones and been to the hospital multiple times because of how clumsy I am, but I'd never had surgery. I tossed and turned all night and when I finally fell asleep, I woke up shortly after from a nightmare where Dr. Green told me that there was an accident while they were performing the surgery and that they had to amputate my foot. After calming myself, I looked at the clock and saw there was no point in sleeping anymore as I'd have to be up soon. I got out of bed, showered and got dressed for the day in some comfortable clothing. Mum got up shortly after I was finished and got herself ready and we drove to the hospital.

The drive to the hospital was quiet, mum was holding my hand, trying to comfort me but it did little to settle my nerves. We parked and walked towards the reception desk,

"Hi my name is Isabella Swan and I'm booked in for surgery with Dr. Green" I informed the lady at reception. She looked up and smiled at me "Hi Isabella, before we check in, have you got all your paperwork with you? Otherwise can you please fill it out and return it when you are done. We will then bring you around to the consulting rooms and get your weight and height recorded and get you into a room."

"Yes I have everything completed, here you go," I handed her all the paperwork I had in my folder and she showed me to a room that had a nurse in there where she asked me a few questions like "is there any chance you could be or are pregnant?" "No", "Are you allergic to any medications, that you know of?" "No", "When was the last time you ate or drank anything apart from clear liquids?" "About 9:30pm last night" "Ok everything is alright, can you step on the scale please" she then proceeded to check my weight and height like the lady at reception told me and once done, we were then showed to a room where I was asked to change into the ugly green hospital gown. Once I changed, all the nerves started to come back to me and I remembered the dream I had the night before. Mum was quiet, I think she thought that she would make me upset if she spoke. Even though we were both quiet she still kissed my forehead and told me that she loved me before I went into the surgery room. They gave me some anaesthetic and I quickly fell asleep.

I don't know how long I was out for but I woke up when all the medicine wore off, Dr. Green came back into the room and told us he sent away the lump for routine testing and told me not to worry. We were discharged after a few hours and I didn't think much of it until Dr. Green called us back into his office a few days later, that was where he broke the news.

"Bella, normally when I send away a cyst for testing, everything about it is fine and it has no cause for concern." My Mum and I held hands instantly and looked at each other, she had worry creasing her eyes and I wanted to hug her and tell her that everything was fine even if I was worried myself, he continued on "Normally. You are a different case. I've done thousands of these surgeries and very rarely does it turn out to be something bad." I started to get nervous as it wasn't sounding good. I looked over to my mum and she looked closed to tears, the need to hug her was slowing winning. "Unfortunately your results showed something I've never seen before. After running some tests we've determined that you have alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma. I'm very sorry."

As soon as he said those words, my mum started sobbing and pulled me into a hug. I didn't even know what it meant, was it serious? Dr. Green gave us a moment that seemed to last a lifetime, but continued on to say that he's referred us to an oncologist, Dr. Fletcher who was one of the top oncologists who specialises in this specific form of cancer.

Once we finished up our appointment we went back home to think. Instantly I started to google what it was and it didn't look good. Mum called Charlie and all I could hear was her crying and saying "our baby has cancer" over and over again on the phone. To hear my mum cry as she spoke to dad and relay all the information given today, made everything feel 100 times worse than when Dr. Green told us today. Mum called my school and informed them that I won't be in for a few weeks because of a medical issue. I didn't want anyone at school to know until we knew what we were dealing with, even if my friends were wanting to know how my appointment today went. I sent out a group text to say that "they're still trying to determine what the cysts is and that everything is fine," I didn't want to lie to my friends but it just seemed like the easiest thing to do today. It took a few days before we were ready to make an appointment with Dr. Fletcher. Renee put the phone on speaker so I could hear.

"Hello this is the Phoenix Oncology Specialists, I'm Danielle how may I help you?"

"Hi, I was referred to see Dr. Fletcher from Dr. Green for Isabella Swan" Renee said.

"Yes, Renee we've been expecting your call. Dr. Fletcher has cleared out a few times this week so he can meet with you. We have tomorrow at 10:30am or 2pm, Thursday at 3:30pm or Friday at 9:45am."

"Um, I guess we could come in tomorrow at 10:30am. The sooner we find out what we can do the better it is for Bella."

"That's fine, I'll book you guys in. If you could come about a half hour earlier, that way you can fill out the necessary paperwork, that would help us out."

"Ok, we will see you tomorrow. Thank you, bye"

"Bye Renee, have a lovely day."

Once we got off the phone we sat in silence. Phil had gone away for the week for a training camp, he's a baseball player so the house was quiet apart from the sobs from Mum. I wanted to cry, but it just wasn't happening, I guess I was in shock.

The next day came quickly, we got in the car and made our way to Dr. Fletchers office. Once there Danielle, the receptionist gave us the paperwork and a pen and we sat down and started filling it out. Mum started to cry as she was writing down the diagnosis part of the questionnaire. Once filled out I got up and handed the paperwork to Danielle and sat back down. We waited silently, holding hands. I looked out the window and saw the sun shining through the tree that was right outside. Everything looked so perfect and I wished it was. Soon enough we got called in to see the doctor.

"Ms. Swan, Mrs. Dwyer please take a seat." We sat down and he introduced himself "I'm Dr. James Fletcher, I'll be the oncologist that will be treating you. As we will be seeing a lot of each other unfortunately, you can just call me James" he said with a smile. He looked like one of those warm people that you could trust, one of those people that if they said that everything was going to be ok, everything was going to be ok.

"I'm Bella and this is my Mum Renee, it's nice to meet you James" I replied. Mum looked really worried about what he was going to tell us and I was too however I just wanted to know more information, there was only so much google can tell you before all the information became too much and I didn't know what to believe.

"Well after looking at the test results, I can confirm that what Dr. Green told you was correct, Bella you do have alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma." He said sadly. Mum looked ready to start crying again and I could see a tear slowly trickle it's way down her cheek, I didn't know what to think, everything in my life was slowly falling apart.

"I'll explain a little more about what it is before we discuss treatment options. Basically it's a form of sarcoma cancer which occurs in the bones and soft tissue. This sometimes causes pain or swelling of the area to the individual. There are two different types of this cancer. The first being Embryonal Rhabdomyosarcoma which is the most common type and usually occurs in children under the age of six. The second, the one you have, Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma occurs in older children or teenagers and it is less common. It's believed that while the foetus is developing, the Rhabdomyoblasts, which are the cells of the foetus that develop into muscles have a chromosome disorder. Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma is usually a rearrangement in the chromosome material between the 2 and 13 chromosomes."

I took in as much as I could about it. What James was saying make sense with what I found on google.

"The survival rate is about 20% long term if we start treatment next week. Obviously the longer we wait to start, the more chance it has to spread" he told us.

20% survival rate, that alone made the odds seem stacked against me. But I knew I was going to be part of that 20%.

"Does either of you have any questions?" He said sadly.

"When you say 20%, does that include if the cancer comes back when in remission?" I asked.

"No, if it comes back it is much harder to treat, you'll be looking at 5%. But we will cross that bridge when we get to it, if we get to it. I know I sound hopeful but I know you can do this" he replied. I started to get scared, what if I beat this and it comes back? I've suddenly dropped to a 5% survival rate. I looked down at my hands and felt the tears streaming down my face.

"What treatment options do we have?" Mum asked through tears.

"We will start with chemotherapy and see how it goes. There are some side effects that go along with chemo such as hair loss, burning sensations, nausea, loss of appetite, tiredness as well as a few other things." I looked up at him, suddenly realising the seriousness of this situation. Nobody I knew has ever had cancer, I don't know what to expect with the chemo at all. My hair might start to fall out, I don't want anyone at school to see that. It's not because I care about my appearance, it's mainly because I don't want to draw any attention to myself. I guess there's always wigs but what if it gets itchy?

"When do we start?" I asked softly.

"We can start the first round on Monday, the process should take a few hours so bring something to keep you entertained. We will continue this for 8 weeks, have a week off, then repeat this cycle 3 more times and hopefully we'll see some results of the tumour shrinking. If we don't, we will increase radiation therapy to your treatment" he said.

I looked back at Mum and she was writing all the information down in the little purple notebook she always carries around in her bag which is normally reserved for shopping lists however I think it has a new purpose now. We finished up the appointment and went back home where Mum called Charlie and informed him of everything. He wanted to talk to me so I got handed the phone.

"Bells, are you doing alright?" He asked me.

"I'm ok, just scared, the odds are against me" I replied.

"I know Bells, just promise me you'll fight it. Promise me that we'll see the other end of this" he said.

"I'll do my best to fight it, I don't know how tough it will to beat but I'll do everything I can to" I replied. Eventually we both hung up and I went to sleep dreaming of all the worst case scenarios. I knew I had to fight this, I'm determined to beat this. The rest of the week passed quickly and before I knew it, it was already Sunday night and all I could think about was what was going to happen tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

Sleep didn't come easy last night, I kept tossing and turning and when I did end up falling asleep, I woke up a short time later. My mind was too focused on what could go wrong. Eventually I gave up on sleep and went downstairs to make a cup of tea. The house was quiet, well I guess anyone else will be asleep at 4am. I waited for the kettle to boil hoping it wasn't making too much noise. I quietly pulled my favourite mug out from the top cupboard and added a chamomile tea bag in it. Once the water was hot enough, I carefully poured in the steaming water. I sat down at the kitchen bench, slowly sipping my tea. I was lost in thought that I didn't hear mum come down the stairs.

"Couldn't sleep?" she asked.

"No, you either?" I replied.

"I don't think I'll be able to until we know what to expect," she sighed. "I'm so sorry that you are going through this, I wish I was the one that was diagnosed. It's not fair" she started crying. We sat there in silence apart from the occasional sob that broke through and watched the sun start to colour the sky. The kitchen got brighter with each passing minute until we were both sitting in complete sunlight. We both got up and went back upstairs to get ready for the day. Eventually it was time to go to the hospital, we drove in silence.

We got to the hospital and walked towards the information counter so we could find what floor we needed to get to.

"Hi, we are trying to find the oncology ward, could you point us in the correct direction" I asked.

"Sure, if you go towards the elevator on your right, and go up to level 3, it should be on your left as you get out" the receptionist replied. I briefly looked at her name tag as saw her name was Julie.

"Thanks Julie, I appreciate it." Mum and I both followed the directions given and quickly found the ward. We walked towards the counter and I introduced myself.

"Hi, my name is Isabella Swan, I was sent here by Dr. Fletcher to start chemotherapy today" I informed her.

"Nice to meet you Isabella, I'm Liz, I'm sure we will be seeing each other quite frequently, unfortunately. Here is some paperwork to fill out and some more information on the process of chemotherapy as well as possible side effects. Just fill out what you can, hand it back and we'll page Dr. Fletcher to the floor to meet with you and answer any other questions you have" she responded.

"Thanks, nice to meet you" I smiled at her.

"You too" she smiled back.

I sat back down and flipped through the information booklet given to me while Mum filled in the paperwork. It mainly contained what I had already researched and did give me a little relief to know that things were going to go as they said. When I got to the possible side effects page the list just kept going and going, and that worrying feeling came back. All those side effects were a possibility and I don't even know which ones I could get. Mum got up and handed the paperwork back to Liz and came back and sat down next to me, holding my hand. We sat staring at a blank wall for a few minutes until our attention was drawn to Dr. Fletcher slowly walking towards us. He sat down opposite us in the short row of chairs when he reached us, elbows on his knee's, leaning forward.

"Good morning, Bella, Renee. How are you both doing" he asked.

"Nervous, worried, scared and tired" I replied.

"I'm feeling about the same way" Mum said.

"I can assure you that we will do everything we can to make you feel comfortable and answer anything you need us to during this process" he smiled. "First were going to do a small exam which involves me checking your blood pressure, pulse, temperature, breathing, height and weight. Once we finish that we are going to do a blood test. All of this is important as we will find the correct dose of the medication to give" he informed us, "So if you both follow me into one of the examination rooms then we can begin."

We ran through all the necessary tests before we were directed back into the waiting room to wait for all the blood work to come back. While waiting my knee started to bounce, I just wanted to get this started as once its started I can check this first session off my list. I made a calendar a few nights ago which had all the dates that I was going to be receiving treatment on. There was even the dates where all the scans are going to be done again on in red. Mum put it on the fridge so we could cross it off and look at it together so we could both see when all the appointments as well as the sessions are going to be. Soon we were called back into the examination room where we were told everything looks normal or the same as last week, if that is what you call normal.

We were shown where we will be spending a lot of our time for the next 8 weeks. Rows of chairs all spaced out evenly. A few were occupied by other people, some looking the same age as me, others younger. Most had lost their hair, if not loosing it. Some wore beanies, to cover their heads and keep them warm. I sat down where I was told and we waited for a nurse to come and insert an IV tube. I'm not a big fan of needles, but I guess I have to get used to it. A nurse came up and introduced herself as Mary and inserted the IV tube into my arm. I tried not to flinch and squeezed my eyes shut however the sharp pain of the needle piercing my skin made me whimper. I finally opened my eyes once everything felt comfortable and she apologised to me. She then hooked up the medication so it would feed through. She then bought me a blanket and pillow so I could sleep if I wanted. Once we started I felt a small burning sensation slowly taking over my body, it wasn't uncomfortable but a dull ache. Mum had her chair pulled next to me, she was flipping through the information book so I pulled out my copy of Wuthering Heights and started to read it again for what could possibly be the hundredth time. We sat in silence for a long time, the only sound that were made was the sound of a page turning. I don't know how long we sat there but before I knew it we had finished the first dose. Mary came and unhooked everything and took the IV out.

Dr. Fletcher came back and we talked about what to expect within the next few days. I was told to stay away from anyone that was sick, given prescriptions for any side effects such as nausea and headaches. As well as told to drink lots of water. He gave us his personal number incase anything happens or we had any other questions. James told us that he will see us next week and sent us on our way.

We left the hospital a few hours later and went back home, all I could think about was my bed. As soon as I walked in the door the entire day hit me and I felt really drained, I told mum that I was going to take a nap and she told me she was going to call Charlie and inform him of everything that happened today. As soon as my head hit the pillow, my eyes closed and I fell into a dreamless sleep.

I woke up sometime later and found a large glass of water as well as 2 Advil sitting on my bedside table along with a note stating that I should drink the water and take the Advil if needed and that Renee would be back soon, she was going to go and pick up the prescriptions. I drank the water but left the Advil as I felt fine, I knew that in the next few days that it might change.

The next few weeks progressed the same, I suddenly felt the queasiness that I knew was coming. Sometimes I took the medication for it but I didn't want to take it all the time. Some nights I woke up feeling so sick that I'd call out to mum in the middle of the night so she could hold me and tell me that everything was going to be fine. Other nights I'd wake up and just have enough time to sprint to the bathroom and throw up all my dinner from the night before. The nausea medication worked but not enough to the point of stopping most of it, it just took the edge off. Mum was still coming to each session but I told her that it's fine if she needs to go back to work. Phil was back so he was making sure we both stayed hydrated and well fed. He took some time off work so he could help out around the house so we didn't have to come home and worry about cooking a meal. He wasn't the best cook but he was a lot better than mum.

Eventually mum went back to work after 2 weeks, after being reassured that I was going to be fine alone, though I had Mary to talk to as well as some of the other kids where we would all talk and get to know each other. We exchanged numbers and soon we were all part of a group chat where we all talked about how were doing as well as the fun events that the hospital were doing to put a smile on our faces. One of the people that I got close to was Jen, she was always there the same time as me receiving treatment. We both had a love for all things books, she also helped me with a few assignments that I had from school, well not really helped such as writing it for me but helped me to develop ideas for my essays. Jen was the same age as me but had leukaemia, she stayed at the hospital because her parents couldn't afford to move houses closer to the hospital. She showed me old photos of herself where she had the longest blonde hair I had ever seen. The shade was so nice that you could tell it suited her. We both were like the 'parents' of the ward as most of the younger kids looked up to us and we were always there to comfort them when their parents had to go to work. There was Ethan, who was 7 and John who was 13 and they both had leukaemia. Alex who was 18 had Ewing sarcoma and Olivia who had Neuroblastoma. Alex was also a really close friend, we were always sitting next to each other when we received treatment. He, Jen and I were always doing things to put a smile on one of the younger kids faces.

School was a whole other issue, I was getting texts from my friends asking "where I have been" and "why haven't I come to school." It felt good to know that my friends all cared about me, but I just don't want to tell them, I don't want them to treat me any different just because I have cancer. I want to pretend that everything was ok when I knew it wasn't. I was slowly losing touch with all of my friends because I didn't reply frequently enough for them. I know I'll have to go back to school soon but I'm not sure when. I've been getting emails from my teachers about assessments and class work and they've all given me extensions but I just want to get it done and out of the way. It helps with the worrying that comes with going through chemo.

More weeks pass, a few times I've thrown up. Its to be expected but it still makes me feel worse than I do. Ive got more side effects now, my hair started falling out about 3 weeks ago and that bought on a whole new set of tears. I don't really care much for the actual hair, it just shows the chemo is doing something but its still another thing to process. It came out in clumps, no matter what I was doing, I could just scratch my scalp and a handful would come out. I talked about this with Jen and Alex and they both comforted me and told me that they can fix it. In the end it was just easier to shave it off. Once my head was shaved, all of my friends at the hospital bought me a beanie to keep my head warm. It felt nice to know that even though we were all sick, we were all the same, bald heads and all.

The decision was made by me to go back to school at the start of the new term, I'd wear a wig and no one would know but it wouldn't explain the weight loss or the shallowness of my face. I did look sick but I'm sure with makeup it'd be easy to hide. I had 2 weeks to prepare to go back to school and face everyone. Its not going to be easy but I'll do my best to blend back in. I had talked to Jen about going back to school and she told me that if she wasn't living in hospital then she would come with me so I wouldn't be alone but because she lived in the hospital, she went to the school there and there was a less chance of infection. I considered changing to the school in the hospital but I wanted to go back to the one I was familiar with. I was going to miss the gang of friends we had become but we would still see each other when we received treatment and id come and visit them as much as I could.

Those 2 weeks passed by quickly, I had all the late work ready to be handed into the teachers as well as some coffee gift cards to thank them for all the patience that they gave me while I was out of school. I had all the medical certificates to be handed to the office as well as all the medication I would need and a small toothbrush and toothpaste for those emergency situations. We had found a wig that looked similar to my hair colour before it was shaved off and I had learnt to put it on so that it looked real. It was the night before I was going back to school and I was nervous, what will my friends say when they finally see me after 10 weeks off school? I guess I'll find out in the morning.


End file.
